Friend or Neighbor?

Consider the following sentence: “I had a date last night, though I was already engaged; then I saw a crane outside my window.” Without context, it would be difficult to discern the meaning. Is this a two-timing bird-watcher? Or a busy, exotic fruit-lover who noticed a large piece of construction equipment?

Language is certainly interesting. For example, in the English-speaking world, a gift is generally a good thing, but you don’t want a gift in Berlin (in German, gift means “poison”).

The Hebrew word rea‘ can mean “friend,” “neighbor,” or “companion.” In the Book of Proverbs, we find principles concerning both friends and neighbors, and generally, the same word is used! The late Old Testament scholar Derek Kidner wrote concerning rea‘, “At the far extreme, it signifies merely ‘the other fellow’; at its nearest it stands for a person with whom one has close fellowship. The context will decide the point.”[1]

Before we focus more on close friendship, it will be helpful to consider some implications from how this word is used. From its first appearance in Genesis 11:3 to one final usage in the book of Malachi, the word assumes relationship. While we are not called to be friends with every person we meet, we should understand that we have some connection as fellow bearers of God’s image.

This is explicitly taught in Leviticus 19:18, “You shall love your neighbor (rea‘) as yourself.” Your neighbor, then, is not just the “other person” that you can depersonalize and neglect, but someone you have a responsibility toward.

The Jewish people understood this, and many attempted to follow this law. One bright lawyer even cited Leviticus 19:18 as the second greatest commandment next to the Shema (see Deuteronomy 6:4). Their problem was that their definition of “neighbor” was too restrictive. Seeking to justify himself, the lawyer asked Jesus, “Who then is my neighbor?” Jesus replied with the well-known story of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:30-35), demonstrating that the command to love one’s neighbor transcended cultural differences and ethnic prejudices.

Here's the bottom line: every person we interact with is a “neighbor” we are called to love. Galatians 6:10 reads, “So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.” In a day and age where we can instantly know about famine, pestilence, and natural disasters around the world, we may have to focus our limited resources and “neighbor-love” on our local area and a few global needs God has placed on our hearts. But even this comes from a realization that every person is created in the image of God, a neighbor worthy of our affection.

For the purposes of this study, we should add two more observations. First, every “neighbor” is a potential friend. Most of us would acknowledge that some of our closest friends came from the unlikeliest places. A person we thought we’d never get along with, or someone who initially annoyed us, later turned out to be a loyal and compatible friend. Proverbs 20:6 reminds us that “good friends don’t grow on trees,”[2] so when you find one, cultivate that friendship deliberately!  

Second, while every neighbor is a potential friend, not everyone can be a close friend. “A person of too many friends comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24). Loving your neighbor doesn’t mean you have to be best friends. Honor everyone as a fellow image-bearer. Develop a few intimate relationships.
 
   [1] Kidner, Derek, Proverbs, 41.
   [2] Keller, Tim, God’s Wisdom for Navigating Life, 165.