February 26th, 2025
Have you seen a good friend in action? Not only are they “friendly,” but they care! They follow up with a thoughtful text. Or remember to pray for you when you ask for it. They show up when you need them to. They remember significant milestones and don’t miss special moments.
Friendship doesn’t come naturally to everyone. Some people tend to be more task-oriented than people-oriented. Others purposefully invest time in friendships that don’t seem to go anywhere, leading to discouragement. Some people don’t feel interesting or that they have anything to offer in friendship. Perhaps one of these scenarios describes you. We allow self-doubt to creep in and then we retreat from close fellowship.
At the same time, we need to remember how important friendship is. We were created to live in a web of meaningful relationships (Genesis 2:18). Two friends – and even three – provide joy, protection, and companionship (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12). Our Lord had close friends, one named “the beloved disciple” (John 13:23), demonstrating the necessity of intimate relationships.
What’s more, we have to remind ourselves that being bad at something is not an excuse to give up. On the contrary, it should be a motivation to improve, even if it is slow, marginal, painful progress.
A few years ago I took up running. When I began, I was pretty bad at it. But I can tell you after 7 years of perseverance, hundreds of miles of running backwoods trails and the streets in my neighborhood, reading not a few articles on exercise, and even making changes to my diet, I’m still bad at it. Yea, it’s true, the progress has been slow and seemingly nonexistent at times. My times haven’t improved by much, and when they do, I always seem to end up with an injury.
Working on something I’m not particularly gifted in has taught me something: sustained effort in pursuit of a goal always has some benefit, even if the highest goal is not achieved. Though my mile isn’t any faster, I’ve become a more disciplined person, physically and mentally. Though I’m not yet a marathon runner (and probably will never be), I’m keeping up with my four active kids.
The pursuit of friendship may be similar. There’s no guarantee that we’ll end up with a dozen amazing friends or a “friend group” that does everything together, but we will discover many benefits along the way.
Perhaps you are already a good friend. Or maybe, like me, you have a lot of work to do. Either way, we can all improve in this area. Over the next few months, I’ll be sharing some wisdom on friendship and relationships in general. Not my wisdom, but the wisdom of the Book of Proverbs. I hope you’ll join me on this journey to become a better friend!
Friendship doesn’t come naturally to everyone. Some people tend to be more task-oriented than people-oriented. Others purposefully invest time in friendships that don’t seem to go anywhere, leading to discouragement. Some people don’t feel interesting or that they have anything to offer in friendship. Perhaps one of these scenarios describes you. We allow self-doubt to creep in and then we retreat from close fellowship.
At the same time, we need to remember how important friendship is. We were created to live in a web of meaningful relationships (Genesis 2:18). Two friends – and even three – provide joy, protection, and companionship (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12). Our Lord had close friends, one named “the beloved disciple” (John 13:23), demonstrating the necessity of intimate relationships.
What’s more, we have to remind ourselves that being bad at something is not an excuse to give up. On the contrary, it should be a motivation to improve, even if it is slow, marginal, painful progress.
A few years ago I took up running. When I began, I was pretty bad at it. But I can tell you after 7 years of perseverance, hundreds of miles of running backwoods trails and the streets in my neighborhood, reading not a few articles on exercise, and even making changes to my diet, I’m still bad at it. Yea, it’s true, the progress has been slow and seemingly nonexistent at times. My times haven’t improved by much, and when they do, I always seem to end up with an injury.
Working on something I’m not particularly gifted in has taught me something: sustained effort in pursuit of a goal always has some benefit, even if the highest goal is not achieved. Though my mile isn’t any faster, I’ve become a more disciplined person, physically and mentally. Though I’m not yet a marathon runner (and probably will never be), I’m keeping up with my four active kids.
The pursuit of friendship may be similar. There’s no guarantee that we’ll end up with a dozen amazing friends or a “friend group” that does everything together, but we will discover many benefits along the way.
Perhaps you are already a good friend. Or maybe, like me, you have a lot of work to do. Either way, we can all improve in this area. Over the next few months, I’ll be sharing some wisdom on friendship and relationships in general. Not my wisdom, but the wisdom of the Book of Proverbs. I hope you’ll join me on this journey to become a better friend!
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